For this month's blog post, we are going to take a deep dive into the world of none other than SQUIRTING DILDOS! Some might refer to them as ejaculating dildos, dildos that cum, or whatever you like to call them, and there are a few of them on the market. However, since I happen to think we have the best one out there, I figured it would only make sense to put them to the test against one another and see how they really stack up. Ok, ok, I may be slightly biased to POP, but let’s break it down squirting dil by squirting dil…

Let me preface by saying these “reviews” are my own personal thoughts, feelings and experiences with these dildos. I am not a paid reviewer nor did any of the toys or companies mentioned ask me to review their products. This feedback is solely my opinion.  

King Cock by Pipedream:

Material: PVC. This is my first gripe with this product. Many will say that PVC is totally suitable but if you are really looking for a high-quality product, medical-grade silicone is the only way to go. Just with the unboxing of this product, you can smell the chemical odor coming from the toy.  Is that what you want to put inside your body? I certainly don’t.  

My second issue with this toy is the squirting mechanism. Don’t be alarmed, this is going to be a trend with ALL of the squirting dildos I will review here (other than POP). The major issue I have always had is the lack of ability to clean these ejaculating dildos properly. This one in particular has some sort of bulb on the end of it. Sure, you can try to clean this bulb out, but how do you know it’s really clean of whatever liquid you put inside of it? How do you know that all of the liquid you squirted through the shaft is gone? You don’t! I will say, because this one does not have tubing glued into it and the bulb comes out, it’s less offensive than the ones to cum (hehe). However, the bulb on the bottom of the toy makes this one impossible to wear in a harness. For me personally, part of the allure of an ejaculating dildo is to be able to wear it in a harness.  

Finally, the only versions of this squirting dildo are all very phallic and in realistic colors. If you are not someone that enjoys the super realistic dil, this also wouldn’t be the one for you. My overall grade for this dildo is a D-.  

Natural Realskin Squirting Dildo by Nasstoys:

Material: Thermoplastic Elastomer (TPE). The easiest way to describe TPE material is that it combines both thermoplastic and rubber. This material can be made to a very soft and jelly form or to a very hard form of plastic. This material is extremely porous, which means it cannot be truly sterilized. That also means it should not be shared between multiple partners. To be honest, this material is one of the worst in my opinion. It also has that chemical stank to it and is just all around unappealing.

When it comes to the function and cleanliness of this toy, it is also lacking greatly. There is no external pump or anything to remove to clean the inside properly. With this one, you dip the tip of the toy into your liquid of choice, then squeeze the balls (which assumedly is where the bulb is) and that draws the liquid in. Then you squeeze the balls again to release the liquid. Once again, I ask you, HOW DOES ONE SEE IF THE INSIDE IS CLEAN OR NOT?!?! There could be mold, fungus, or any sort of bacteria inside this toy and you would have no idea. The only way you would be able to know is if you cut the toy in half, which would then make the toy unusable. Sorry, y’all, the lack of ability for cleanliness with these is maddening to me.  

This squirting dildo is also only available in very large, phallic, and realistic forms and colors.  The ONLY positive thing about this product for me was that it can be worn in a harness and one was actually included with the dildo. Was it my favorite harness? Not at all. It’s definitely one of the cheaper ones I have used and would not be conducive to all body shapes and sizes, but at least it had something included.  

This squirting dil sadly gets an F from me.  

Strap-On-Me Squirting Silicone Cum Dildo by Strap-On-Me:

Material: Silicone. Finally, someone cares a little bit about the material they are making sex toys with.  

Colors: Vanilla and Black only. Very limiting on the color range. Before I carry on in my assessment of this toy, let me say that this product came out after POP had been on the market, so the positives about this toy were a direct copy of the ones created on the POP product. For example, not one ejaculating dildo on the market prior to POP had the chambers on the base for the tubing to be placed into. No one thought about making things comfortable for the person wearing the dildo until POP. And then, Strap-On-Me copied that idea and put it on this toy. So, it’s a great feature of course, but not one they came up with on their own. I digress.

This ejaculating dildo falters the same way the others do and that is with its lack of regard to cleanliness and being able to properly sterilize the tubing component. Like the others, the tubing is glued into the shaft of the toy and therefore cannot be removed. Again, this begs the question, HOW DO I KNOW IF IT’S CLEAN OR NOT?!?! The syringe on this one is also very cheap. It’s also black, which may appeal to someone aesthetically, but again, in terms of cleanliness, it’s lacking for me.  

There is one shape and size on this ejaculating dildo which also makes it more limiting. Overall, this is the better of the ones I have seen (because they copied all they could from POP), so I’ll give this one a grade of a B.  

Last, but not least, and well worth the wait, POP DILDO!

Ok, y’all, I know I’m biased. I get it. These “reviews” are a little skewed. BUT, what I can tell you is that as the founder of POP, I know my own product inside and out. And with my 15+ years working in women’s reproductive health, I knew firsthand what was going to be necessary in order to create a dildo that would mimic an ejaculation in the safest and most sanitary way possible with a sex toy. All of the little nuances that POP has were meticulously thought out and planned to provide customers with the highest level of quality, which as we can see, never previously existed.  

So let’s get into the real unique features of POP and what makes this the gold standard in ejaculating dildos. Our most proprietary and patented feature is called our PT3 technology. This is our tip and tubing locking mechanism that allows the user to remove the tubing whenever they want from the toy, and the custom tip lets you lock the tubing into place when using the dildo. The most important piece of POP is the ability to remove and replace the inner tubing.  Since my major focus is on cleanliness, this makes the PT3 technology far superior to any of the others on the market. POP also provides customers with extra tubing and tips so you don’t have to clean anything other than the dildo itself. As mentioned before, the chamber on the base was originally invented by me with the wearer of the dildo in mind. Prior to this, all of the tubing would just protrude through the base of the toy and jab the person wearing it in the harness.  Ouchies.  

In our newest iterations of POP, we have 3 different shapes/sizes along with both realistic and non-realistic color options. The idea for POP is always about inclusivity and being mindful of everyone. You have POP Slim for those that are beginners to ejaculating dildos and are looking for something a bit smaller in stature.

POP n’ Play has been a form of POP I have wanted to create since the beginning. There are many packers on the market, but none that mimic an ejaculation, and now there finally is!

And finally, POP Dildo, the remake of our original, is our largest size but not too realistic and offered in 3 skin tone colors and one beautiful blue color.

The POP collection is by far the broadest range of shapes, sizes, and colors for ejaculating dildos and to top it off, has by far the most superior technology available. Listen, I told you I was biased, but the facts don’t lie and the proof is in the ejaculating dildo. POP hands down gets an A.

At the end of the day, no matter what squirting dildo I am looking at, it really boils down to cleanliness, the ability to properly sanitize, and being mindful of forms and colors, because not everyone likes the same thing. Options are good and sanitation is non-negotiable. So, if you are looking for a squirting dildo for a bachelor/bachelorette party that you can put vodka into to squirt into the bride's mouth (you’re welcome for the idea), then by all means, go for the cheap, poorly made dildo. However, if you plan to put these in any of your bodily orifices (isn’t that the point?) I beg of you, please choose wisely. You should never compromise on quality when you are putting things inside your body and when you want to squirt things on partners. I wish you all the most creative, elaborate, and fun thoughts about squirting dildos.  

Much love, 

Steph “Spermin’” Berman